Holidays May Be the Perfect Time to Discuss Estate Planning
One of the best parts of the holiday season is the chance to spend more time with family. Technology helps us stay connected, but there’s no substitute for getting together, face-to-face, with the people we care about most.
Getting everyone together at the same time is sometimes difficult, but it presents an important opportunity to have a discussion about estate planning. While it may not be the most festive topic, there’s substantial value in holding these conversations in person, with as many of the people affected present as possible.
Our firm, the Law Office of Janet L. Brewer, has extensive experience with the sometimes uncomfortable topic of estate planning. Estate planning covers end-of-life scenarios that may be unpleasant to consider, particularly when everyone is together in celebration. Realistically, the holidays may be the best or only chance you will get to have these conversations and avoid trouble down the line.
Here are a few tips for successfully covering estate planning issues at your next holiday gathering.
Avoid an Unwelcome Surprise
If the thought of talking about estate planning at the holidays causes you concern, imagine how it would feel to have that conversation sprung on you without warning. The discussion will likely go better if everyone has had a chance to prepare for it.
Tell your loved ones you want to go over estate planning issues at the holiday gathering. Preparing them may help you answer questions or address worries that you would not have thought of on your own. Also, if they don’t have proper notice of the conversation, they may feel like you don’t value their input.
In the end, it’s your estate plan, but you want your loved ones to feel good about your decisions, rather than frustrated about having the discussion thrust upon them at the last minute.
Give Your Loved Ones a Chance to Speak
So much anger and family strife can be avoided if people take a more inclusive approach to estate planning. If members of your family are deliberately excluded or accidentally overlooked in the estate planning talks, they may harbor feelings of bitterness, anger or frustration.
When you tell your family you want to discuss estate planning, check in advance which members will be able to attend. Those who cannot attend in person might be able to participate in the discussion through electronic or other means. Giving everyone a chance to participate can lead to better acceptance of your decisions and can eliminate surprises that lead to family tension or worse.
Listen and Make Note of Everyone’s Concerns
An estate planning lecture is not the same as an estate planning discussion. You will likely get better results from your holiday discussion if you approach it with an open mind and the willingness to listen.
Encourage your loved ones to express their opinions, and try to get everyone to participate. It may be too much to ask for everyone to agree on exactly how the estate planning process should go. But an open conversation that respects and values everyone’s input can increase the likelihood of reaching an agreement that’ll be accepted when the time comes.
You may also discover that their concerns and attitudes are not what you expected, opening a path to compromises you couldn’t have predicted on your own.
Honesty Is Key
Having an open mind and listening to the perspectives of your family is important, but it should not cause you to deviate from your own values. You have goals and desires for your estate plan. Your family may also have goals and desires for your estate plan. Nothing will be solved if not all of you are honest about your positions.
Encourage honesty at the outset. If a member of the family believes that a particular item should pass to them, they need to speak up now to get the most out of the process. There may be difficult moments. It’ll probably be impossible for everyone to get what they want out of the process. But everyone is more likely to get an outcome they’re satisfied with if they feel empowered to honestly state what they want.
This Is the Beginning, Not the End of the Process
If this holiday discussion is the first time you’ve gathered together to discuss estate planning, it’s unlikely that you’ll find an answer for every question in one night. Further discussion will probably be necessary to address the full complexity of family dynamics and estate planning tools. Some conflicts may even be unsolvable, but others will not.
The holidays are a good time to start the ball rolling, but you don’t want to ruin the festivities by pushing too hard too quickly. There’s a balance between enjoying each other’s company and taking care of family business. You should be willing to strike that balance by deciding when the discussion has gone on long enough and making a plan to take it up again later.
No doubt there are more fun and lighthearted things to spend your time on this holiday season. Estate planning is not an easy topic to address, nor are effective and thorough estate plans easy to create.
Still, it’s worth your time and energy to use your holiday get-together as a chance to get started on creating a plan that can accomplish your goals and bring your family together, rather than driving them apart.
Contact Our Los Altos Estate Planning Firm Today
At the Law Office of Janet L. Brewer, we have the skill and experience you need to address your estate planning needs. We can answer your questions and help you put together a plan that’s right for you. Call our offices today at 650-325-8276 or contact us online to discuss your situation with a knowledgeable California estate planning lawyer.
